Senator Dikembe Mutombo Blocks Record Amount Of Legislation

"Not in my congress!"

According to TheOnion.com, Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukumba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo recently broke a record held by Shawn Bradley. Read more from the original article.

KD looks for a new NBA record

From TheOnion.com:

Durant bouncing the ball for the 180th time in the game

OKLAHOMA CITY—Thunder guard Kevin Durant dribbled the ball 73 times in the fourth quarter, leading all dribblers with 186 bounces in Oklahoma City’s win against the New York Knicks Saturday. “At first I was trying to just be patient and dribble only when I had to, like to avoid traveling and to run the offense,” said Durant, who is third in the league with 147.6 dpg and a 99.8 dribble percentage. “I know we’re not supposed to admit it, but yeah, by the end I was counting. 182, 183, 184, 185, 186 bounces. It felt good. Honestly, I was in such a zone that it felt like I was dribbling on a court twice as big.” Durant also led both teams with 43 jumps and 1,227 steps taken.